How Quarantine Affected Ambiverts
March 2020-A time that will forever be engrained in the minds of people all across America and the world. Whether introvert or extrovert, chances are there have been discussions about how quarantine affected their routines. However, I have noticed that in media and in day-to-day conversations, there has been a severe lack of discussion regarding ambiverts and how the quarantine had/has affected us.
An ambivert is a person who is a mix between an introvert and an extrovert. They may have a touch more of one side than the other, but overall, they tend to be equally balanced between the two. I personally am an ambivert, and quarantine helped me to find that out.
When quarantine started, I’ll admit, I was elated. I wouldn’t have to see my peers at school and I was stuck at home without having to leave. It was my ideal life. I wouldn’t have to go anywhere and it felt like summer vacation had come early. After a few weeks though, I realized that I missed seeing my friends at youth group every week as well as being able to ask the teachers for hands-on help. I had lost a lot of social skills and I needed some interaction with others besides my parents and sister.
Having only my family to talk to was quite taxing. I love them all dearly, but it really isn’t the same as talking to my friends or other people my age. I also found that I would start to have repetitive conversations with my family. There’s only so much to talk about when you are around each other all of the time. This repetition led to me being in my thoughts a lot. I started to psychologically examine my feelings and behaviors and was on my phone a lot. I decided that if I couldn’t be around other people or go out and do anything, I was going to finally find myself. For years, I felt very uncomfortable with my physical appearance. I didn’t like the way I dressed and I was frequently picked on for it. I didn’t know how to change my style and I didn’t know what I liked so I felt trapped in baggy hand-me-downs. During the quarantine period, I created a Pinterest account and started to look at different aesthetic tags on Instagram.
Having all of that time exploring and almost researching led to me finding outfits that I really liked. They had a retro sort of feel to them and I could use a lot of the clothes that I already had. Being alone also led to a growth in confidence. It was like a switch went off and I finally decided to embrace myself. Last summer I accomplished so much just because I had the time to experiment and figure out what I wanted. It was a definite help in me finding my identity. I cut a lot of my hair off and went thrifting for new clothes. The new style made me feel a lot more relaxed and I felt much more comfortable in my identity. But however confident and good I was feeling about myself, I still really missed hanging out with my friends.
Once I was finally able to be around people, I felt so much better mentally. My mental health started to improve and I was able to interact face to face with the people I hold dear. Of course, after a while, my introverted side has come back around and I have started to wish for more alone/free time again. I look back on the past year and think how much mental and physical growth I accomplished during the period of last March, April, and May. I started to morph into the person who I wanted to be and I could not be happier with where I am now. I was thankful that I had that time to myself to figure out who I am, what I want to achieve, and my hopes for the future, but I also felt more alone and isolated than I have ever felt before. It was both a blessing and a curse.
This is what I think a lot of introverts and extroverts can’t understand. They either hated quarantine because they couldn’t be out with friends and interacting with people on the daily, or loved it because they would be doing just that. Ambiverts need a mix of both of these things. We need some people time, or at least have it be optional, but we also need that alone time to relax and contemplate. It’s an odd mix of both that not many understand and I wish was talked about more often.
